Emotions I can't fathom

This morning at 7.30am, I was told to relief my colleague who went on HL while waiting for further deployment to be made. I willingly agreed. At the back of my mind, I was thinking, "Are they gonna tell me to take Eng, Math and Science till their form teacher comes back?" 

At 10plus, my VP spoke to me officially to take over the class from today on. At that point, I don't know what went wrong, I just could not control my emotions anymore. After leaving his office, tears started flowing. What was I feeling and what was I thinking? I seriously had no idea. It was a RUDE SHOCK that I was left with no choice but to agree. I told him I'm not confident to teach Eng and Science, but he said just teach the basic and prepare them for exams. 

Well, this caused me to tear whenever I think about it. So with my eyes and nose red, I had to calm myself down quickly and get back to class. I controlled my tears in class when I scolded them for being rude to other teacher. One of the boys asked me why my eyes were red. I had to lie and say that I'm not feeling well. 

Then again at 1plus, my colleague came to tell me that she will take over the Eng and Science instead. I thought I will feel better, but no. Till now, I still feel very unsettled. Tears can't stop flowing whenever I thought of the whole incident. I can't fathom why I'm feeling this way. There seems to be no peace within me. 

I pray for God's peace to rule and reign in my heart again. I pray for His strength and grace to cover me each day. I pray that I will feel better after a nap. I lift this whole incident up into Your loving hands, Father. Help me oh Lord! Amen!